Friday, October 30, 2009

The Frightmare

I'm going to start this post off by saying that if you've never been to a haunted house with Karen, Ashley or Kara, I highly recommend that you call them up and get a once in a lifetime experience.

Last night, we decided to check out The Frightmare. Unlike last year's Raleigh Jaycees Terror at Possum Creek, there was no large group and there were no men. Karen did not have the brave, burly and gallant John there to protect her so she used me as her shield instead.

We're really good at psyching ourselves at and with it being a Thursday night, the house was deserted and there were no patrons. We sat in the parking lot a good 10 minutes trying to decide if this place was really legit since it was a ghost town (da dum dum) and tumbleweeds were blowing by. The conversation went like this:

Karen: I'm so nervous ya'll. I can't do this! I can't do this!
Ashley: I'm not going in there until we talk to someone about it. I will not be touched. They can't touch me.
Me: What if they see four girls and knock us out and sell us into human trafficking? It could happen.
Karen: No, it won't.
Me: Yes, it COULD happen. How would anyone find us? There's no one here.
Kara sits in silence with a look of terror on her face.
Ashley: I will NOT be touched. Where's the exit? I don't see anyone coming out of this joint.

A Honda mini-van and a car pull up. From them exit, two large men with mullets, two women, a twelve year old girl and a seven year old boy.

Me: Let's go! Let's go! We can on in with them.
Karen: Seriously. A child. Let's go. It can't be that bad.

Reluctantly, we exited the safety of Terry the X-terra and entered into the unknowns of The Frightmare. After paying for our tickets and confirming multiple times that no one would in fact touch us, we went in. The experience went something like this:

Karen, Ashley and Kara: Ashely, you have to go first.
Me: Why me? Why do I have to be the brave one?

I would love to see what we looked like going through this thing. Four almost 30 year old women, linked up like a conga line shuffling really slowly through haunted twists and turns. Screaming at the top of our lungs. I'm sure the people in the house got a kick out of us. I know some dude with a Jason mask laughed at us at one point and it wasn't an evil sinister laugh but more of a America's Funniest Home Videos hearty laugh. Mind you, The Frightmare is in 3-D so we not only were conga lining it, but we were conga lining it in some really super cool glasses.

A few minutes into the house.

Karen: Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh.
Me (being held in a Full Nelson by Karen): Karen, I can't breathe.
Ashley: They better not touch me.
Kara brings up the rear in silence with a look of terror on her face.

Scary man jumps out of corner.
Everyone screams.

Me: Karen, I can't breathe.

A scary man jumps out of another corner.
Everyone screams.
Karen's hands in her Full Nelson have moved from my shoulders to my chest.


We enter into a 3-D room that takes you around in circles and we can't figure out how to get out.
Scary man jumps out of corner.
Everyone screams.

Karen: I'm not looking! I'm not looking!
Me: Karen, I can't breathe.
Ashley: They BETTER not touch me.
Kara brings up the rear in silence with a look of terror on her face.

Me (breaking out into a fit of coughing/choking): I can't breathe. I can't breate.
Man with blungeoned face and in scary homicidal killer outfit: Ma'm, are you okay?

All jokes aside, us girls had a blast and we made it out alive though perhaps some a little bruised and beaten. I'm not going to be a spoiler and give anymore details. But, I will say that it blows that Possum Creek place out of the water and the 3-D was neat. Check it out if you get a chance and give me a call if you do! I might be up for it again!


Heather said...

Girl, you need to ask Melanie about the Chamber of Horrors Live at Madame Tussauds in London. I think we both peed our britches.

Shelly said...

Sounds like you had a painfully good time! I'm just glad you're back into blogging! I love it!